Golf Joke: Andy, Agnes and the ER Doc
"Help, my wife needs some help!" he cried out.
An ER doctor raced over to find Andy and his wife Agnes, both dressed in golf outfits. Agnes was out cold and bleeding from a wound in her scalp. Andy was frantic with worry.
"What happened here?" the doctor asked, as staff got Agnes onto an exam table.
"Well, me and my wife have been married for 35 years," Andy told the doctor, "and every Saturday we play a round of golf together. You see, her dad was the local golf pro —"
"Sir, sir!" the doctor interjected, "please try to focus here, your wife is bleeding from a head wound. How did she get injured?"
"Sorry," Andy replied, and sped up his story. "So I play from the men's tees and she plays from the women's tees and she normally drops me off in the cart and then heads up to her tees and waits for me to hit and I walk up."
"Sir!" The doctor, examining Agnes' head, searching for the source of the bleeding, was getting frustrated with Andy not getting to the point.
"I'm explaining it to you, doc," Andy replied, and continued: "So anyways she drops me off like always and I set up for my drive and I thinned it! I never thin it! Never! Couldn't believe it. And, my gosh if that ball didn't head straight for Agnes. I yelled 'Fore!' but she wasn't looking and boom! That ball hit the side of her head as it went screaming by, she slumped over in the cart, knocked out. And then I saw the blood! You can't believe how sorry I am and how guilty I feel."
The doctor, continuing his exam of Agnes' head, finally found the source of the bleeding. But it wasn't a single cut to the scalp.
"Sir," the doctor said, "I actually see two wounds to her scalp."
Andy, who had started crying, dried his eyes and regained his composure. "Well," he told the doctor, "I had to take a mulligan."
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